1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize