I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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