At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my shit smells like andre
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
