My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Two words: nipple clamps
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