allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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