You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
