I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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