remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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