Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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