STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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