i permit you to call me
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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