I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize