Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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