After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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