I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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