It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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