She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
