I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
