You made me cry and you don't even care
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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