My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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