before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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