Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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