We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
