Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
