Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My vagina is officially offended.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize