This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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