Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
