i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
