she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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