I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize