Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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