we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize