Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
