if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
