Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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