guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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