I must be too annoying 4 u.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
