I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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