Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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