I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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