don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
