So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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