so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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