The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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