I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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