a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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