I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
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Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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