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• (917): View more from New York City

  my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have to get rid of the hedgehog.

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Does it come with a cage?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  yes. and food and toys.

  (765): View more from Indiana

  i'll trade you an 8th for it

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  deal.

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• 

  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (206): View more from Washington

  No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...

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