Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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