Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
