and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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