Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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