it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Let's get the cat blown out
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.