At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress