I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?