She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
