He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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