just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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