Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
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And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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