We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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