conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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