ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
