I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
