i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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